Jonah: The Other Message

 Who's Side is God On, Anyway?

The Book of Jonah is one of the shorter books in the Old Testament and - I think - perhaps one  of the most misunderstood.  But it also contains an often-overlooked message:  one that is quite relevant for us, today, in America and in our world.   This is the message about God taking sides in human affairs - it asks the question "Who's Side is God On, Anyway?"  The book then offers an answer that surprised Jonah thousands of years ago, an answer that will continue to surprise many of us today.

The first and most widely-known message of Jonah is fairly clear - if God has a mission for you, running away from God won't do you much good.

However, there's another message in Jonah, one that doesn't come across much, but it is also one that has perhaps more relevance to our lives today than the first message.

In a nutshell, God directed His prophet Jonah to go to Israel's hated enemy, Nineveh (capital of Assyria) and preach a message of doom. Though not Jonah's intention, this was a message that invited - or at least allowed - the Ninevites to repent.

Right up front, Jonah doesn't want to go to Nineveh, and he rejects God's command for two very modern reasons.  First, he feared that he'd no sooner show his face in Nineveh than he'd be stoned to death (if he was lucky). These Assyrians were, after all, the sworn enemies of Israel.  The second reason, not quite so immediately obvious, was that because Assyria was Israel's sworn (and much larger) enemy, Jonah really, really didn't want to risk actually helping them. While he was God's servant, he was not a traitor to his native Israel.

So in disobedience, he ran from God, heading to the port city of Tarshish.  There he hopped on a boat, hoping to sail away from God's commands.  Didn't work.  Jonah apparently forgot that God is omnipresent, as well as all powerful.  So God sent a terrible storm, and it wasn't long before the other crew members figured out that somebody's God had been angered. Through a process of elimination, they determined that it was Jonah.  So, after trying in vain to sail back to shore, Jonah realized he wasn't going to have these men's souls on his conscience.

At his own prophetic recommendation, the crew made Jonah walk the plank, doing so to appease his wrathful God.

That worked for the sailors, and - oddly - it worked for Jonah, too.  He was swallowed by a "huge fish" (not a whale, which is one of the first common errors people have in understanding Jonah).  Remember, this isn't the fairytale story of Pinocchio, but a record of God's great works.

After three days in the belly of the beast, God made sure that Jonah was vomited up on the shore by this great fish. But only after Jonah had repented of his folly in trying to run away from God.

That's the beginning of Jonah's story, and that's the message most people take from the book.  "You can't run away from God - if He has a job for you, buckle down and do it, no matter how scary it might be, no matter how much it runs against the grain."

Others, looking more deeply, compare Jonah's three days in the belly of the beast with Christ's three days in the world of death before being restored to life.   In that they are right - the Old Testament is filled with prophecies about the coming Savior, and this is certainly one of those - but that's not the message for us today.

There's another message that is, I believe, far more relevant to us today than running from God and his commands (though that message also obviously has an eternal value and relevance).

As the story goes on, Jonah goes to Nineveh, preaches the Lord's wrath, including a prophecy of total destruction in just 40 days. Then - surprising Jonah and perhaps even themselves - the people of Nineveh hear the word of God from Jonah.  This included everyone, from the lowliest beggar to the King himself.  All begin fasting, wearing sack-cloth and anointing themselves with ashes, the contemporary Near Eastern symbols of repentance.  God, pleased with their response, decides to cancel His plans to smite Nineveh.

At first, Jonah doesn't know this.

Instead, having followed God's command to the letter, Jonah went out and found himself a ringside seat for the upcoming smiting, holing up in a patch of desert overlooking the city.  In modern terms, he had his bucket of wings, his cold six-pack, his remote - and he was ready to watch the Cosmic Super Bowl, God's wrathful smiting of the greatest city of the age.

But despite all of his expectations and hopes - that Israel's great enemy and nemesis, Nineveh, capital of Assyria, would be destroyed by God's wrath - that didn't happen.

And when it didn't happen, Jonah got mad.  Mad at God.

His thinking went something like this.

"Hey, God, we are Your Chosen People, the faithful sons of Abraham and Jacob, of Joseph and Moses, of Joshua and David.  You're on our side. You're our protector.  And Nineveh, capital of Assyria is our sworn enemy. It deserves smiting - you said so yourself.  And let's not forget that Assyria is a lot bigger and stronger than we are in Israel.  So why didn't You do Your warrior-God thing, just the way You promised, and destroy our enemies. 

"As You yourself had me preach, the Ninevites have certainly earned destruction."

Jonah was mad that His God hadn't stood by His Chosen People's country, ticked off that the God of Abraham hadn't defended His People.  Instead, God had shown mercy - he actually spared Jonah's hated enemy. In doing so, he left them intact and able to attack and destroy Israel, pretty much whenever they pleased.

Besides, Jonah had 50-yard-line seats for the smiting.

 He even told God of his feelings:

"Isn't this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home?  That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish.  I knew that You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity."

God tried to teach Jonah an object lesson about compassion and forgiveness, but finally, in the face of this hard-hearted Hebrew, God realized that He was just going to have to lay down the law.

"Should not I have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than one hundred and twenty thousand persons ...?"

That's where the Book of Jonah ends, with God scolding and admonishing Jonah. However, Jonah was showing no sign of understanding God's lesson.  True, God gets the last word, and while that last word is in the form of a question, it's a rhetorical question.

In that question comes perhaps the most important message for us - Americans and Christians - living in our world today.

Jonah expected God - his God, Israel's God, the God who'd made the Israelites His Chosen People - to fight on His People's behalf.  Jonah expected his God to make Israel's enemies His own enemies.

That was Jonah's expectation.  And in many ways, that remains our expectation today.

Consider this.

In World War II, President Roosevelt ended his speech to Congress asking that they declare war on our enemy with the words, "So Help Us God!"  And if you listen to a recording, you'll hear that this is not a throw-away platitude (like one of our more secular Presidents ending each speech with "and God Bless America"). Instead, Roosevelt delivered the thundering proclamation of an Old Testament Prophet or Patriarch, invoking God's Own Help, doing so with every expectation that God would get on board, making our enemies His enemies.

Yet also during World War II, emblazoned on the belt-buckle of each soldier serving Hitler and Nazi Germany, was the phrase, "Gott Mit Uns" (God With Us).

That's right.  Hitler's Nazis, as a matter of State policy, publicly professed a belief that God was on their side.  Which meant He couldn't be on our side.

In World War II, on whose side was God, anyway?

More recently, the radical Islamic al Qaeda and Hamas and Hezbollah and ISIS terrorists have all professed to doing the Holy Work of Allah.  Their God, Allah, presented to the world by his final prophet, Mohammad, is thought by some to be the same monotheistic God who'd first raised up Abraham, the father of Ishmael - founder of the Arab nation which became the first Muslims.  Their Allah is supposed to be the same God as the Israelites' Yahweh, the One True God who sent his Holy Prophets to the Israelites, including Jesus.

I don't believe that Allah is God, if only because of John 14:

 I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me

But the followers of Mohammad believe that their Allah is the final revelation of the Jewish and Christian God.  So, when these radical Muslims suicide-bomb an Israeli pizza parlor or crash hijacked airliners into the Twin Trade Towers and the Pentagon, are they doing God's Will?

Is He really on their side?

No, God is on no man's side - not even (if our God was also Allah) his prophet's side. Instead, this is the lesson from Jonah:

God expects each of us to be on His side.

This is the lesson of Jonah that applies today.  God made it clear to His own prophet, Jonah, that He (God) was not on Jonah's side - nor was he on his own Chosen People's side.

Instead, He expected His Chosen People - from the run-away prophet to the lowliest shepherd boy with a slingshot - to be on His side. On God's side.

God is infinite and eternal - he doesn't take sides in human endeavors unless doing so suits His purposes. He'll do it for his own reasons, but never for "our" purposes.  He has a single, unchanging side. He demands that we repent of our sins, even if we are among his Chosen People or among those Saved by Christ's blood.  But then He is gracious to offer His forgiveness to all who sincerely repent and call on God for His forgiveness.

Just as the Ninevites did, to Jonah's apparently eternal frustration.

God was not on Jonah's side, or His Chosen People's side, or a Christian's side, or a Muslim's side. God isn't even on America's side.  Instead, He expects us to be on His side.


And that is the real lesson of Jonah.

Joseph the Carpenter – God’s Choice for Perfect Dad

Forget Ozzie Nelson.  Forget Cliff Huxtable.  Forget Fred McMurray.  Forget “Father Knows Best.”  Joseph the Carpenter is, hands down, the perfect dad.  But don't take my word for it. Ask God.  He is the one who chose Joseph as "Father of the Year" for every year in eternity.

Its' true that Joseph doesn’t get all the good press his wife, Mary does, and perhaps rightly so.  After all, she carried God Incarnate in her womb for nine months, while God the Father carefully and lovingly knit his only son together in her womb.  Carrying the Son of God - that’s a major responsibility.

But God didn’t just choose Mary as the perfect mother to bring Christ into the world. He chose Joseph as well.  Of all the men who ever lived, God the Father chose Joseph the Carpenter to be the earthly father of Jesus. He chose Joseph to be the man who would support Jesus, defend him, feed him and train him up in both the ways of God and the ways of a skilled craftsman.

Yet Joseph the perfect human father gets far less recognition than I think he deserves.  Perhaps it’s because he – in cinematic terms – has no dialog.   In theatrical stage-play terms, he’s a “spear carrier,” someone in the chorus who is necessary, but not important enough to have dialog.  There is no fatherly Magnificat, no "here I am, Lord" moment for Joseph.  Instead, he let his actions speak for him.

I think it’s time that Joseph the Carpenter, earthly father of Jesus, got some of the credit he deserves.   

Consider this:

Joseph received four prophetic dream visions which are reported in the bible. In each case his answer was “Yes, Lord, right away.”  Moses argued with God. Abraham debated with God.  Jacob even wrestled with God.  But when Joseph got his heavenly messages, his response was always immediate, decisive and affirmative. 

Each time, the command he received threw his life into turmoil.  Yet – based on his actions – that sudden turmoil didn’t matter to him at all, at least not when compared with his commitment to serve his Lord and God.

The first time occurred when he learned that his betrothed was pregnant.  

This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about:  His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.  She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”  (Matthew 1:18-21)

Even though Joseph must have felt betrayed, and even though he could have exercised his right to publicly divorce her - or even have her stoned - he chose to quietly divorce her, to spare her from public shame.  

Clearly,  even wounded as he must have felt, thoughts of revenge or punishment or payback were not in him.  He was a good man.

But then came his first dream vision, when an Angel of the Lord spoke to Joseph and told him what God wanted him to do.  Because Joseph was the faithful and God-fearing kind of man that he was, this word from God changed everything. Immediately.

In the first dream vision, that Angel told Joseph to go ahead and marry his betrothed Mary, even though she was pregnant.  Joseph knew this would shame him in his own hometown.  He knew he'd be labeled either a sex offender by “knowing” her before marriage, or – more likely – he'd be known as a cuckold, since nobody apparently seemed to think Joseph was the unborn child’s father. 

Yet, after the dream vision in which an Angel of God told him the child was conceived by God, and that he should marry his betrothed fiancée and raise her child as his own, Joseph decided that God must have his reasons.  Which was good enough for Joseph

The bible says:

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.  But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus. (Matthew 1:24-25)

So Joseph married a pregnant girl and assumed all responsibility for her child, who was now also his child.   At the very least, by this selfless, obedient act, he saved Mary’s reputation.  Perhaps he even saved her life, since infidelity before marriage was a stoning offense.

Then Joseph went further, giving up any thoughts of marital intimacy until after the baby was born, presumably some months into the future.  For a young man with normal drives and passions, that must have been difficult. 

Yet the bible says that he did what he was told, without complaint.

Then the second time Joseph had a dream vision – this one about Herod’s threat to kill Jesus - Joseph didn’t even wait till morning.  Sure, he’d lived in Bethlehem for at least two years, and must have established himself with a home and a business that supported his growing family, but when God said “Go,” Joseph went.  He didn't close his shop or put his house on the market.  

As before, he followed God's command without question and without hesitation

So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, where he stayed until the death of Herod.  And so was fulfilled what the Lord had said through the prophet:  "Out of Egypt I called my son." (Matthew 2:14-15)

Of course, any good father would do whatever it took to protect his son's life.  But Joseph was an adoptive father, and some people (mostly people who don't know any better) might expect less of him.  But not God – he had no doubt what Joseph would do. 

Note:  As an aside, I am both adopted by my parents and I am an adoptive father.  I know the bonds between father and child are no different than for those of a child I’d sired.  I’m just saying …

So Joseph, Mary and at least Jesus – and perhaps, by this time, the first others of Jesus’ brothers and sisters – got up in the night, fled to Egypt, and started a new life, which was becoming something of a specialty for Joseph and Mary.   

Then some time later – the bible doesn’t say just how much time later - Joseph got his third dream vision, this one telling him to head home.

After Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt and said, "Get up, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel, for those who were trying to take the child's life are dead." (Matthew 2:19-20)

Once again, Joseph had to decide if he would, as ordered, close down his new business and hit the hot, grueling and not entirely safe road back from Egypt to Judea.  And the bible makes it clear that this was exactly what Joseph did.  He didn’t argue, or drag his feet, or even mutter under his breath.   

He did his Lord’s bidding.

Now Joseph’s final recorded dream vision is often overlooked, because Matthew doesn’t set it aside in quite the way he did the first three dream visions.  However, this was a “big one.”  But to realize why this was the "big one" requires you to read between the lines, at least a bit.  While they were already on the road back to Judea, Joseph got another course-correction message.

So he got up, took the child and his mother and went to the land of Israel.  But when he heard that Archelaus was reigning in Judea in place of his father Herod, he was afraid to go there.  Having been warned in a dream, he withdrew to the district of Galilee, and he went and lived in a town called Nazareth.  So was fulfilled what was said through the prophets, that he would be called a Nazarene. (Matthew 2:21-23)

This was the last time that Joseph had a dream vision encounter with God – at least it was the last time we know of.  And this one was very likely just as emotionally gut-wrenching as his first dream vision, the one that commanded Joseph to marry Mary, and to raise her son as his own.   

That is because, once again, this command put him at “ground zero” for being judged harshly and unfairly by his fellows back in Nazareth. These were men and women who thought they knew his entire story about Joseph, Mary and that boy, Jesus.  They were the ones who thought of Joseph as a cuckold, or worse.

Consider:  It shouldn’t be surprising that, after heading for Bethlehem to participate in Caesar’s census, Joseph and Mary decided to remain in the ancient City of David.  There, they were unknown.  There, as far as anyone knew, their firstborn son had been born of a married couple.  There was no “shame” waiting for them in Bethlehem. 

The story of the Magi makes it clear that Joseph and Mary and Jesus stayed in Bethlehem for at least two years, if only because Herod’s murderous orders targeted every male child born during a two-year period.  But Bethlehem had been their port of shelter, the home they planned to return to.   Read it carefully - this last dream vision makes it clear that the couple had planned to return to Bethlehem from Egypt.  Yet to fulfill prophecy, and to once again save young Jesus' life, God commanded them to go back to Nazareth.

But was Nazareth really such a bad place?   

Actually, I think so.  Small towns can be like that.  Recall, for instance, that later, when - early in his ministry - Jesus went there to teach in the synagogue, the town-folk got so incensed at him that they drove him to the edge of a cliff, doing so with murderous intent. It was only a miracle that saved Jesus from that fate.   

So clearly, this was a town made up of judgmental hotheads.  First Century redneck yahoos, who, when provoked (and it didn't take much to provoke them) could turn themselves into a virtual lynch mob. Yet that’s where God sent Joseph and his family, and once again, Joseph said “yes Lord,” even as he moved to obey.

Even before he first encountered God's messenger, Joseph was a good man at heart. When God spoke, it became clear that Joseph was God-fearing man who obeyed his Lord without question or hesitation. He was a devoted family man who always acted to put his wife and his son first, ahead of anything he might prefer for himself.  

God chose well when he chose the perfect human earthly father to raise up his only begotten son, Jesus.

Despite his importance, Joseph only appeared in two Gospels – Matthew and Luke – and his choices and decisions are only really played out in Matthew.  He was referred to in John and Mark, but only in past tense as the earthly father of the now-adult Jesus.  Most of what we really know of him comes from Matthew. However, everything we know about him points to the fact that he was, indeed, the perfect earthly father for Jesus – obedient, steadfast, loving and protective. He was a man who put his wife and his son ahead of him, every time, and he was a man who didn’t count the cost of his obedience.

However, there is one other thing that we do know about Jesus.  The Talmud – that basic guide to living a Godly life used by the 1^st Century Hebrews – considered the term “carpenter” to refer to a “takton." This also applied to the term “son of a carpenter.”  In the Aramaic of the day, a takton was a deeply devout person, well-schooled in scripture.  Who better to teach the young son of the living God about faith and scripture?  I'm speculating here, but this fact could offer an additional reason why God chose Joseph to be the earthly father of his only begotten son.

While. for 2,000 years, Mary has gotten most of the good press, it is only reasonable to assume that God chose Joseph with the same care as he chose Mary.  Out of all the men who’d ever lived, Joseph was seen by God as the ideal man to be the earthly father of his only son, just as Mary was the ideal mother for Jesus.  Joseph lived up to those expectations, always putting Mary and Jesus first, always obeying God’s every command, and never once questioning or hesitating.   

He accepted his role with dignity, and fulfilled that role with diligence. 

The rest of what we know about Joseph is based on inference.  We presume he died before Jesus began his ministry, for there is no mention of a funeral, and Mary appears several times in the Gospel during her son's ministry without her husband present. This includes a gala social event – the wedding feast at Cana – where you’d expect her to be accompanied by her husband.

The bible also tells us that Joseph fathered at least six other children – four named sons and at least two unnamed daughters.  Two of those sons – though they did not believe in their older brother until after his resurrection – became church leaders after Jesus’ death, going on to write the epistles of James and Jude.  So, as a father, Joseph did himself proud – not just with his oldest son, but with at least two of his other sons.   

I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and say all his kids turned out exceptionally well.

Note:  Regarding Joseph's other children, both the Roman Catholic and Orthodox faiths hold the belief that Mary was a perpetual virgin. They state that the named and un-named brothers and sisters of Jesus were either step-brothers (assuming, as the Orthodox do, that Joseph had a previous wife before Mary and was, by the time of that marriage, 80 years old or older) or they were His cousins.   

I honor their belief without sharing it.  Several reasons:

First, I can and do venerate Mary as the sanctified mother of the son of God without needing her to be a perpetual virgin.  The Old Testament prophecies do not demand that, and the New Testament’s inspired Gospel writers did not say that she was a perpetual virgin.  So I consider it "extra-biblical," and subject to devout belief on either side of the issue.

Second, the bible says clearly that Joseph “didn’t consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son.”  To me, that clearly suggests that Joseph did consummate the marriage later.  If it was not so, this verse from Matthew (1:21) would have read differently.

Finally, the bible is consistent in naming James as a brother of Jesus – never as a cousin or step-brother or just a relative – and it is also consistent in referring to the brothers and sisters of Jesus. Not once, but several times.

But that question really has very little to do with my respect for Joseph, God’s choice to be the earthly father of his only son, our Lord Jesus Christ. 

As a father, a husband and a man, Joseph is worthy of emulation, but first you’ve got to really look at this strong, quiet man of God.  As a father - and as one who has lost a son - I find Joseph to be that perfect father, just as Mary was that perfect mother.

When Comforting Someone Who's Suffered a Loss - Here's What NOT To Do

 There are many right ways of helping someone who's just lost someone very dear to them. Unfortunately, there are many WRONG ways of offering comfort, and in my experience, most people do it wrong, even when they think they're doing it right.  I learned this following two very personal losses (the death of my 17-year-old son, and the suicide of his mother/my wife) eight years later when her unresolved grief became too much to bear).

Here are my experiences, and the lessons I learned from them.

Some years back, my son died instantly in a one-car crash while driving to early band practice at his high school.  We'd delayed letting him get his driver's license for a year (until he was 17) because we felt he first needed to demonstrate responsibility.  He'd only been driving for 8 days when he crashed.  The autopsy showed no signs of alcohol or drugs - he merely lost control while driving too fast, skidded out and hit a tree.  His seat belt wasn't enough to save him.  Those are the facts.

I reached out to many people for comfort - connecting with my fairly extensive online network of "list-friends."  In return, many people reached out to me o offer me comfort.  But instead of offering real help, most of them only made matters worse.

As they "offered comfort," I was shocked to learn how few really knew how to do that, and how many tried to help me by using this occasion to ease their own grief, while claiming to try and help me with mine.

When someone is in grief - when someone has suffered a great personal loss - the last thing he or she wants is to be burdened by other people's losses. 

To say, "I know how you feel, because I've lost someone, too, and I'm here for you ..." that shows compassion and deep understanding.

But to say, "I know how you feel because I lost my second cousin in a car crash, she'd been drinking and slammed into a bridge abutment on I-95, and lingered in intensive care, like a vegetable, for six weeks until my uncle had to pull the plug on her, it was the most horrific thing ever ... so yeah, I know how you feel ..." not so much.

In fact, I'm here to tell you that this approach does NOTHING for the grieving person, except add to their pain and suffering. That all-too-common approach is all about the "comforter" actually trying to reach out for comfort, to process his or her own grief.

I was inundated with so many stories of other peoples' losses - all of them pretending  to try and help me (and most of them believing that they were helping me).  But what they were actually trying to do was to work out their own grief. I had just lost my son, and I was in no shape to offer a shoulder to anyone else for their own loss. Yet that was what they expected of me - that I would lend them a shoulder, and commiserate with their loss. 

I'm sorry, but the death of my son does NOT equate to their loss of their second cousin ... to some extent, a loss is a loss, yes, but the closer the person, the deeper the loss.  And the more recent the loss, the more jaggedly painful.

But this is what happened, over and over - and believe it or not, one person actually tried to show that he understood my loss because he'd just lost his dog.  His dog!

If you are reaching out to comfort someone who's just experienced a tragic loss, it's OK to say, "I understand your grief, because I've suffered a loss, too."  But leave it at that. Don't work out the terms of your grief on that person.

Instead, after acknowledging having once experienced a non-specified loss, go on to say, "knowing what a loss feels like, I am here for you - in any way and every way that I can help." 

But then, instead of putting the responsibility for your help on the sufferer by saying, "how can I help?" - go ahead and offer several specific ways you can help. Ask, for instance, "do you need food?  Do you need someone to be with you, so you're not alone?  Do you need someone to drive you to the funeral home?" Offer those, or some other material support, then say ... "or anything else you might need, just know that I'm here for you."

Finally, don't forget the power of God, and the comfort of the Holy Spirit.  You could, of course, say, "I'll pray for you and the person you lost."  But don't just leave it there - take it a step further.

 For instance, ask, "would you like me to pray with you right now (in person or by phone)?"  Then, assuming they say yes, make sure your prayer is all about the person who's suffered the loss (not your own loss), and about how God can and will help that person. 

Going a step further, if the lost person is known to you to be a person of faith (i.e., someone you believe has accepted Christ), you can also talk about how that lost person is now with God.  But if you don't know that for a fact, don't go there ... the person who's just suffered a loss may be agonizing about whether their loved one IS with God.

If you have a favorite comforting scripture, a psalm or words of Jesus (or Paul, or anyone in the bible who comforted someone), share that, too. If you don't remember the verses verbatim, take a moment to look that scripture up (write it down if you need to) before calling - or calling on - someone to help with their grief.

So please, if someone you know suffers a loss, make your comfort specific to them.  Offer meaningful help and support - but don't just offer generalities, offer meaningful specifics. 

Not just, "I'll pray for you," but "can I pray with you right now." 

Not just "I understand, because I recently lost my pet goldfish" but "I understand because I've suffered a loss, too, so let me help you specifically, by doing a, b and c."

Faith in the Marketplace

Today in The Blaze, there was an article about one pastor's outrage against Disney and a Magic Kingdom Christmas celebration.  The word “Christmas” had been left off of a Disney billboard in Orlando, in a message advertising Disney World's popular holiday-themed Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party.

Right up front, let me say I found the pastor's concern over leaving the word "Christmas" off of the billboard message a bit odd, since the event itself (which he and his family have attended for eight consecutive years) is itself a profoundly secular event.  It has few - if any - truly Christian overtones. It's a typically Disney party for kids of all ages, celebrating the holiday season, but not the birth of Christ.

I read the pastor's comments with interest.  Some years ago, I had been personally active in the "war against Christmas" kerfuffle, at a time when it did seem that everywhere we looked, people and businesses were actively working to take "Christmas" out of the Christmas holiday. 

However, as I reflected on that former passion and this current situation, I saw some differences - perhaps in what is going on in society, and perhaps what is going on in me.

I still actively and vigorously oppose those organized atheists who use the threat of court costs to force municipalities and schools to ban Christmas celebrations. However, for me, that opposition is more political than theological, and it also highlights my own resentment against bullies.

This Disney deal, it seems to me, is different, and the issue here is theological rather than political.

I am a proud and (I hope) dedicated Christian; however, I don’t look to (or expect) secular corporations to carry my message of faith for me. Pastor Eddie DelValle of With Love Ministries is of course entitled to his reaction.  Viscerally, I might have reacted the same way on seeing that billboard for the first time.  However, for me, that would be the end of it, and here's why.

We Christians live in a secular society ... we cannot expect the secular world to reflect, let alone promote, our beliefs

We Christians live in a secular society, and I believe that  we are both misguided and misleading ourselves if we expect the secular world to reflect - let alone promote - our beliefs. If we boycotted every secular corporation that failed to carry our banner for us, we’d be limited to shopping at - or interacting with - just two kinds of companies.  Those whose owners have real faith and want to share that faith (Hobby Lobby and Chick-fil-a come to mind) or those cynical secular corporations who proclaimed our message, not out of faith, but out of greed.

Frankly, I’d rather be ignored than be pandered to ...

While I do NOT want to deal with corporations or organizations that actively espouse an anti-Christian message, or which, by their actions, support an anti-Christian objective, I can't think of all that many organizations that fit that mold (except, perhaps for MSNBC and CNN, and a few other actively-hostile news media outlets). 

However, there are some businesses Christians can't avoid, even if something they do is distasteful.  For instance, all pharmacies are required to sell morning-after abortion pills, and as someone who's not a supporter of abortion, I find that distasteful. However, there are no alternatives I'm aware of, so I continue to do business with CVS Pharmacy.

I have also worked with and for clients and employers who personally profess either a lack of belief or an active disbelief. However, I deal with them in a purely secular role, and see no problem with that, since their businesses do not reflect their lack of faith or actively oppose mine.

So what's my bottom line here?  Disney is a secular corporation, and in our free country, they are free to celebrate - or not celebrate - Christmas as they choose.  That is their business, not mine.  I am free to do business with - or ignore - Disney. However, I have two grandkids who LOVE Disney movies, TV shows and products, and because of that, I'll very likely continue to "shop Disney" for Christmas presents. 

This does not offend, nor does it threaten, my faith

And I guess I encourage Christians, including Pastor Eddie DelValle, to pick their fights with a bit more care.  If Disney were actively trying to undermine Christianity, that would be different. But they're just trying to make a buck in December, which makes them not anti-Christian, but quintessentially American.

Sometimes the Answer is "No"

It is a tenet of my faith that God answers prayers.  This is something I believe with all of my heart, a belief bolstered by the many times that God has answered my own prayers, in ways that were - to me - put the reality of those answers beyond question.

However - and this is hard for many Christians to accept, as I've seen for myself - sometimes the answer to that prayer is "no."  When you're asking for something that is outside of God's will and plan for your life, God doesn't ignore that prayer, but He might just answer by saying "no." 

 God doesn't ignore that prayer, but He might just answer by saying "no"

In other blogs I've written here, I have talked about how God said "no" to Jonah (I'm not confused here - this is not about how Jonah said "no" to God). After Jonah realized that he really did need to follow God's command, he went to Nineveh where he preached doom.  To his surprise and disappointment, the people and the king of Nineveh did hear Jonah, and believed in what he was preaching, and repented.  Real sack-cloth and ashes time, honest and meaningful repentance.  God heard their groans of anguish, saw the true repentance in their hearts, and spared Nineveh the doom Jonah had foretold.

Jonah, whose people (the Israelites) considered Nineveh their sworn enemy, had looked forward to God's judgment. When it didn't come, he prayed to God to follow up on that promise, to smite the Ninevites.  God heard Jonah's prayer, but the answer he gave Jonah was a resounding "no."  Even though Jonah had (admittedly, reluctantly) done as God had commanded, and even though Jonah was indeed a prophet of God, God heard his prayer, but told him "no."

God heard Jonah's prayer, but God told him "no"

Which brings me to a very personal side of this issue, personal for me.  In 2007, eight years after our son had died in a one-car accident in September, 1999, my wife Karol was going through unimaginably deep suffering because of that loss.  Many years earlier, she'd lost a son who was born with profound, unsurvivable birth defects.  Following his inevitable death, she had never been able to properly grieve, and that loss festered in her soul.  Then nearly 20 years later, our son died in that awful crash.  Once again, she had been unable to properly grieve, and that loss, too, festered.  Even worse, the two boys' birthdays - and the anniversaries of their deaths - came very close together in calendar terms.

Each year from July through September, Karol went through an anguish that had to be seen to be believed.  This year, for reasons not clear, the suffering seemed to be worse.  Despairing of what I could do for her, I turned to God, and prayer.  Using the Psalms as my focal point - especially the ones in which David cried out to a God he felt had forsaken him - I prayed as I had never done before.  My prayers were daily events, often lasting hours, and filled with all the power of the emotions I was feeling.  And I asked others to pray for her as well - online prayer groups, our local church, friends - and those efforts were not in vain. People did pray for Karol.

People did pray for Karol

Still, her crisis seemed to deepen.  I knew God was listening - He had always listened to my prayers, and had often answered them in ways nothing short of miraculous - yet things only got worse for her.

Finally, I thought there was a change. She seemed more at peace, and things seemed to be returning to normal. We made plans to do things we enjoyed - something we hadn't done in weeks, perhaps months.  She even asked me to go to the store (at her request, and by my own choice, I had literally not left the house for a week - both of us were unwilling for me to leave her alone), so - feeling things had turned a corner, I went to the store to restock on groceries. 

Yet something didn't feel right

Yet something didn't feel right - I felt deeply that something was wrong, but I didn't know what.  I tried to call her, but she didn't answer, and for some reason, my blood ran cold.  I raced home, only to find the bedroom door locked.  It took me five minutes to disassemble the lock, and when I came in, I found Karol dead on the floor.

I called the police, who treated me like a murderer (no surprise there, and not really part of this story). More importantly, I called our priest.  She interrupted her vacation to rush to our home - to say last rites over Karol - and later she told me that she'd felt no evil there, that Karol was now finally at peace, a peace she had been unable to find in this life.

Karol was now finally at peace, a peace she had been unable to find in this life

I had prayed to God to help Karol find peace - in this life - but His answer was "no." 

That was hard for me to accept, and I "took' a vacation from God" as I came to terms with it.  I didn't stop believing in God, and I wasn't angry at God or filled with blame for Him.  Still, I needed to step back and come to terms with this, and God was gracious in letting me know that this was just fine with Him.

In mulling over what happened, I came to believe that His ultimate answer to my prayer was "yes, but on My terms" - Karol found peace she was so desperate to find - not in this life, though, but in the next life.